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LAMPOON: Silliman Confessions hacked, VPAA revealed as page admin

by pani | April 29, 2023

Following the hacking of the Silliman Confessions Facebook page, Silliman University (SU) Vice President for Adult Affairs (VPAA) Dr. Jude-y Ann Cleotoris was revealed as an admin of the account.

The anonymous hacker uploaded a screenshot proving Cleotoris as the “true” admin on an unidentified Facebook account on Saturday, which immediately gained traction from fans of the page. 

“I’m actually pleasantly surprised. That page really promoted love and night noises on campus,” said Ryan Agoncencilõ, VPAA secretary and guardian devil.

Meanwhile, Cleotoris said in an interview with the Weekly Sillimanian that he “just wanted to help Sillimanians say their truth.”

However, Agoncencilõ expressed that there may be another “real and hidden” reason for the Facebook page.

“In reality, Cleotoris did not have the rizz and the guts to personally confess his feelings for a certain Silliman woman president, pushing him to create Silliman Confessions,” he said. 

In response to this allegation, Cleotoris said, “That is just a rumor.”

Moreover, an investigation to find the identity of the hacker is ongoing.

“We’re close to finding out who you are, and when we do, know that there will be consequences. This is your final call to give back what’s rightfully mine,” said Cleotoris.  

DISCLAIMER: This article is part of the Weekly Sillimanian’s lampoon issue. Any real, semi-real, or similar names, places, people, products, services, and locales are used purely for satirical purposes, and the corresponding details are purely fictional. The article’s contents are to be considered satire, parody, surrealism, and humor.

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