by Kristotoy Bibo | October 25, 2023
“I brought lunch today beb, kay I’m going to tipid.”
“Dear, can you submit this to COMSO (Coordinators of Momentous Samuk Operations)?”
These two lines paint the picture of a lingo prevalent in Samukan University (SU)—conyeah, which fuses Cebuano and English dialects.
Tied in the tongues of most Samukanians, conyeah has become an embedded language of SU. While seen as a typical form of talking, the 85th page of the SU history book “Samukan Timeline” implies that this cultural signifier came about surprisingly. Written therein is the alleged superficial history of how Samukan University became a hallmark of conyeahs—people who speak conyeah.
Samukan Timeline on BS Lingo
1901. With flower hedges enclosing its campus, palm trees dancing with the breeze, and waves kissing the coast, Samukan Institute, a school of 15 girls, became a university in 1938 for 9,000 learners—including 30 aliens. A sense of pride from this transformative success pervaded every part of the campus, but little did Samukan know that together with its feat came the dawn of distress that haunted the university and its succeeding generations. The triumph of extending its excellence to extraterrestrial learners became an offset of torment on the campus—all because of its neglect.
With their distinct accent and pronunciation, aliens lived their days with constant bullying by homegrown Samukanians—they were mocked, humiliated, and labeled as conyeah for saying “Yeah, right.” Hoping to halt the misconduct, aliens made sure to take action against the oppression she and her fellow foreign students faced each day. Draped with her charisma, alien Nelia went up to the university president, voicing their grievances. To her surprise, her blood suddenly rushed to her scalp as her fist clenched and neon-colored eyes squinted—she was silenced by the higher-ups for the sake of the school’s reputation.
Not long after, rumors spread about the students having to live by the institution’s order to keep all commotion out of the public eye. As a result, every instance of violence, harassment, and discrimination became an open secret that slowly grew invincible. To the aliens who struggled to communicate their protests because of the language barrier and culture of discrimination, coping with such oppression became even more impossible.
Longing to regain their peace amid the oppression, the aliens returned to their home planets the summer following that year. Then left with mostly local students, evident conyeah lingo began sprouting among many Samukanians. Suspicious of why this lingo remained, people speculated that Nelia might have put the school under a curse that grew more vengeful as the years went by—a chronicle that eventually became an accepted myth.
His-Tory of Conyeah Lingo
Supporting the story logged in the “Samukan Timeline,” Weasel Bowler, a former chairperson of the Secret Ra Committee, believes that SU’s conyeah lingo is “more than just a culture.” Dressed in his black polo, printed with yellow wings of an extinct Negrense animal called pako-pako, Bowler came to the interview sharing that he found remnants of Nelia’s ancient technology that became the reason behind today’s SU conyeah.
Defining Nelia as “feisty and assertive,” Bowler believed that Nelia cursed SU and its studentry to habitually speak conyeah to avenge what she and her fellow extraterrestrial students went through. Describing her further as a cottagecore woman of a quiet but fierce facade, Bowler believed it was not impossible for Nelia to put an otherworldly intergalactic force on SU.
“From what I’ve heard, Nelia was a magic enthusiast in her planet of wizards,” Bowler said.
Although the spell was believed to affect the entire student body, Bowler thinks Samuk Ug Sabaan Gang (SUSG) is affected the most, together with the high-ranking officers of executive committees and academic organizations. Affiliated with the same offices that neglected the extraterrestrial students’ cry back then, BS org students are afflicted the most by the curse in atonement for the sins of their predecessors.
“Nelia wanted them to feel the struggle of having to deal with two languages,” Bowler added.
Bowler’s thoughts on the controversy behind SU’s conyeah lingo speak about our history. Yet far from how it was written in “Samukan Timeline,” Samukan University today is a campus of social harmony where students and the higher-ups unite for one goal: to promote a healthy community, making the tale of Nelia a tug of war between doubt and belief.
Either way, true or not, one thing is certain: The hearsays of the past are outshined by the significance of what SU catalyzes today—a growing, inclusive community. As long as we continue our efforts, may alien students one day forgive us, return to our halls once again, and witness the breakthrough of our dear old Samukan. Even with our not-so perfect history, we come to embrace diversity and celebrate differences.
