by Danica Grace B. Gumahad
Miscommunication—it’s a common and inevitable thing to happen to any of us. This is oftentimes the reason for unorganized events, losing business deals, crushing break-ups, shattered friendships, and more. Name all frustrating relationships and you’ve got your list.
There are just those times when we ponder on why we come to a point that leaves us questioning ourselves on why those things just happen. Sometimes we do things we regret. There are moments in our lives when we say,
“If only I listened…”
Talking to one another is probably the most effective tool we possess. This is one way of spreading our profound ideas, thoughts, and desires. But human as we are, we often slip and make simple things chaotic. Let’s discuss some of the usual statements people use when they innocently or purposely miscommunicate.
“No load. No signal. No connection.”
This would be the typical reason people use when they are out of reach or whenever they cannot reply to a very important call or text. We cannot really blame them for this. There are really some places—high mountains, some rural areas where there is low density of people, or hidden places—in this world that cannot be reached by the coverage of a certain telecommunication company. Not all people subscribe to unlimited text or calls for a day or even for a month, how much more for an unlimited internet access? But there are some ways where we can still overcome this situation if people just find ways. (Good thing we have Wi-fi areas in our school. Not to mention the booming “café with free wi-fi” businesses in the city.)
Assumption is the reason for all screw-ups. Some people may think that they are right all the time—that they cannot even commit a single mistake. They get all the confidence and guts that they eventually stop listening to what others may say. Even though they are efficient, ill relationships with others would still be a reason for mishaps. One cannot deny the fact that when we cannot hear from somebody for a while, we usually jump to very hasty conclusions—conclusions that usually aren’t really close to reality. Sooner or later, one may hear from another person—I mean, rumors spread like wildfire—and misunderstandings occur.
These two words only become valid when it comes from one who has amnesia, Alzheimer’s, or old age—okay or maybe from one who is in austere stress. This may be acceptable at home with your parents, friends or relatives; or in school with your classmates and teachers. But when you enter the real world—and have your first job and salary that make you feel rich—, this statement becomes highly unacceptable. These two words can make your boss furious. And then you get fired. An employer wants his or her employees to deliver and work efficiently. To do this, one must have proper communication in the train. A sharp mind and post-it pad come in handy in times like this.
“I’m too busy; I don’t even have time to chat.”
In the personal blog of Francis J. Kong for the month of January 2012, he wrote: “There is none so busy as those who do nothing. No matter how busy people are, they always stop and talk about how busy they are. People who talk too much about how busy they are, they’re not. Busy people don’t even have the time to talk much because they work much.” Some may say that they don’t have much time in the world to do this and do that but when they really find time to contemplate and impart their thoughts to one another, things may be much simpler. Whenever someone makes time for others—even a little—confusing things can be settled, conflicts will be resolved, and mutual understanding will take its place.
“We’ll talk later. I hate that person.”
Others procrastinate a lot when it comes to talking to their enemies. Oftentimes, the quarrel between two people will later be forgotten—with no conversation and all, both remain passive about the situation—and the hatred keeps piling and building up and ultimately that hatred will be ready to blow up anytime. Sometimes, saying nothing says the most. These things need courage. It is healthy to have a calm and collected composure when dealing with this situation. Dr. Laurence Peter said, “Speak when you’re angry—and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” A healthy chat can be made when both are tranquil. It takes maturity to sack it all up and make each other understand. It needs a little less cursing and a lot more honesty.
In every problem, there is surely a solution. The key to overcome miscommunication is communication minus the
“mis”. So next time you talk to anyone, make sure that you don’t miss your point and make sure that your
listener doesn’t miss it.