by Ivan Anthony A. Adaro | February 8, 2023
Looking into her wilting eyes, I reached out for her hand which holds a special type of warmth that never fails to spread a sense of tranquility over my soul. As I watched her dying breath seep through her fragile body, I kept telling myself over and over again, “No! This is not happening! It’s all just inside my head!” Sadly, when nature–the same type of nature that breathes life, paints stories, and creases time–does her bidding, there is nothing we can do when she finally makes her choice.
I hate it. I absolutely hate it! I hate how cold and fake everyone’s touches feel when they hold me. I hate how I can no longer feel that distinctive warmth in her hands that only she can give me. I feel like I’m crumbling. I feel like I’m suffocating. But why is it that life still continues to go on? If I could go back into the past, will I ever be able to undo nature’s untimely bidding and ease the burden I am suffering now? Or would nature just keep throwing me back to where I am standing right now just so that I’ll never escape from the problems that I should be facing?
This is a story of my most traumatic experience—a story about saying the most painful goodbyes. And if there’s anything that I have learned from the past recollections that I have puzzled together around those experiences, it is that people will eventually come and go.
As you continue to expand and evolve in this journey called life, goodbyes are inevitable. No matter how painful it is, you’ll have to someday say goodbye to people, places, principles, philosophies, and parts of yourself that no longer serve you—to things that no longer resonate with you, your new environment, and your new profound self. Still, it is easier said than done because human as we are, the hardest part of letting go is our pride and ego. It desperately wants to cling onto something familiar–something comfortable–even if it dangerously causes you pain and misery.
Situations like these often happen many times throughout our lives, and honestly, these things are normal—may it be from pain caused by a death of a loved one, adjustments made by moving from one stage of life to another, reconciliations discerned after thorough reflections, and others. However, keep in mind that we can always show our love to someone without needing to see or keep them and that there is joy found in letting go of burdens that weigh heavily on our shoulders.
Saying goodbye to someone or something that you hold so dearly can be difficult sometimes. It means letting go and preparing to hurt–and be hurt–in the process. However, acknowledging and accepting the situation you are in makes you grow stronger and more mature. That’s why never be afraid to let go when clinging on tighter just makes you hurt more. Never be afraid to close a door that is no longer meant for you because this could be an opportunity for you to open a new one and for you to make more space for what comes next.
Goodbyes are inevitable—painful, yet essential to your development. Accepting and understanding changes when things shift and take their natural course is a way to ease the burden. But if there’s anything worth fighting for, let it be your happiness found in embracing impermanence and the natural flow of things–of people–that come and go.