Friday, February 3, 2023

That Feeling

by John Ryan Alojado | November 28, 2021

There are times in your life when you wake up in the morning, lying in your bed distraught with nothing on your mind but an empty feeling. Perhaps, it’s the contrary, since to suggest a feeling of emptiness is to acknowledge that there is something to feel in the first place. Still, you feel nothing at all. You are neither happy nor sad and you are not privy to waking up because you feel no reason to do so. You simply wish to lie down — to exist in a perpetual state of mind, telling yourself, “Nothing good will come of me from getting out of bed today.” At the same time, the more positive voice in your head says, “Nothing bad will happen to me either if I simply stay in bed.” And the emptiness continues.

In your little world, time ceases. After all, this is your own little realm of existence and reality can be whatever you want it to be. And for now, just for today, just for this moment, you simply wish to exist as you are now. Not sad nor happy, no joy nor malice, and nothing good nor bad. It is in this small moment of respite that you, for the longest time, are finally at peace once again.

In the real world, however, time continues. The sun is out and it hits you in your dumb little face. It cares little for your moments of weakness. It marches forward towards tomorrow regardless of whether or not you march along with it. This gets you thinking, “While the world marches today, would I be alright being left behind tomorrow?” Through ways known only to you, a thought similar to this pierces through your skull and your little world falters and comes crashing down. Reluctantly, you finally get out of bed. The numbness you felt earlier starts to go away and the feelings of discomfort, unhappiness, and discouragement slowly make themselves apparent.

Unmotivated, depressed, sad, empty; words that mean different things but are often used by us interchangeably to describe that feeling when we don’t have the drive to do anything. Whether it’s about our studies or jobs, there are simply moments in our lives when we feel indifferent, numb, or jaded — and that is okay. Sometimes, these hurdles remind us that we are just regular people with fears, regrets, and deep-rooted sadness. Realizations like these are often the first steps we can take to grow and mature as a person. You can take action by helping yourself overcome your emotions, helping others who also feel the same way as you, or simply internalize what you feel, slow down, and just let it be for now. You can take all the time you need to prepare, even if it takes an hour, a day, or even a lifetime — and that would still be okay.

We may all feel similar variations of the same emotion but we, every one of us, are unique individuals with different experiences, problems, and ways of coping. Whilst we are physically and mentally able to, the best thing we can do for ourselves right now is to individually learn to take the steps one needs to be better. This process will be different for each of us, but that’s what makes our days interesting — the diversity in ways we each find for ourselves to uniquely solve a common problem; that feeling.

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