By: Lara Charmaine Lagorra
There’s a new pandemic sweeping the world—and no, it’s not a health-related crisis (may the heavens forbid we go through this again). It’s an evolution in the male species.
The once iconic symbols of the wild—alpha males reigning supreme with roaring confidence and untamed egos—have morphed into something more nuanced. These new males are an apex predator we admire but don’t fear: the “performative male,” a curious blend of rugged charm and delicate sensitivity.
In the grassy lands in Sillimman University, you can catch them sitting alone under an acacia tree in the Ravelloo field, earbuds in, quietly absorbing melodies that match their mellow vibe, or under the Auseyho Hall nature by the green benches.
They claim to be emotionally intelligent and socially conscious, but it’s all an act to make you believe they are the “ideal” men.
So here are a few signs that you are friends—or worse—possibly dating a performative man. Take these signs with a grain of salt:
One: Fit check and mirror selfie
Catch them in their natural form, dressed to charm with a vintage or soft-boy aesthetic. Picture baggy jeans, striped long sleeves layered under plain or graphic tees, and pristine white Adidas sneakers.
Some opt for oversized jorts paired with sleeveless tops and loafers to flaunt their inner soft masculinity, while others are more subdued, wearing leather jackets or cardigans, sometimes channeling a Taylor Swift vibe to complete the look.
Accessories include chunky silver rings, scarves, and layered necklaces, topped off with oversized eyeglasses—probably fake, pretending to be nerdy and blind so that people would say they look smart.
Extra style points for beanie hats and expensive aniks-aniks, Labubu, or Smiski charms dangling on their belt or phone.
Two: His prized possessions
Their sacred vessel is usually a beige eco tote bag, often decorated with a graphic print and some inspirational quote about life or mindfulness. You will likely find him with a foam-topped matcha latte with oat milk, half-sipped but never finished, suggesting a grasp on health trends without full commitment.
He would also own a vintage film camera for the “nostalgic and artsy” capture, and books peeking out, generally feminist literature or classic novels that look untouched or only half-read. Self-help books are a given, with titles like Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday or Atomic Habits by James Clear. The irony? They hardly ever read these books, but just having them shows they want to look like they are working on themselves (classic men behavior).
Three: “Unique” music tastes
Ask what music they’re listening to, and they will show you a playlist dominated by soft indie artists whose melancholy lyrics and lo-fi vibes. Laufey, Clairo, Phoebe Bridgers, Mitski, and Beabadoobee are the usual suspects.
For the local flavor, expect a nostalgic, earnest blast of iconic OPM bands like Eraserheads, Rivermaya, and Cup of Joe filling the air with timeless hooks and poetic lyrics. They often write inspiration from the lyrics in leather or Muji notebook – with mostly the pages blank.
With the classic white wired earphones to add nostalgic authenticity to their look, they spend more time curating their playlist than actually conversing. Nothing says “underrated” like a Spotify Wrapped filled with indie acoustic ballads and timeless OPM anthems.
Four: Natural habitats
Performative males stalk the most Instagrammable, artsy corners of the campus like mythical creatures of the day. You’ll spot them at Ravelloo Field, under the sprawling branches of the acacia tree, where the golden hour light filters just right for mood selfies. They’re often spotted at the AH Nature benches — half-reading or sketching art. Some museums like Arienego and Antopology, not really digesting the artworks but mastering the perfect “candid” pose for their next post.
Other haunts include indie coffee shops where they can sip single-origin brews of the matcha foam with dessert on the side as a complement, vintage bookstores brimming with half-read feminist pamphlets, and quiet corners of the campus library where they pretend to study but mostly stare into the distance, daydreaming about their latest post.
Five: Personality and beliefs
The performative male prides himself on being “woke,” but his convictions resemble trending hashtags more than heartfelt stances. A vocal proponent of feminism, mental health awareness, and environmental causes, he’s quick to share podcasts on toxic masculinity or retweet the latest viral piece on privilege.
Look out for frequent social media declarations like “No woman should suffer childbirth pain” or “Men need to step up as feminists,” said louder and backed by no action. His emotional intelligence runs on rehearsed empathy—using phrases like “I feel you,” “That’s valid,” and “It’s okay to not be okay” like scripted lines from a well-worn playbook.
Reality behind the foam
In a world full of matcha foams and Labubu charms, remember this: if he spends more time organizing his playlist than remembering your birthday, or if his “deep talks” come with perfectly timed sad song breaks, you’re probably dealing with a performative male.
So, next time you see a guy clutching his eco tote like it’s a Grammy award, ask yourself—are you meeting an emotionally evolved man, or a manchild that conceals himself in an aesthetic image? Because, in the grand cafe of life, men can be a bit performative (not all but some—mostly), no matter how many aesthetic layers they have that conceal themselves. And that’s on. Periodt.
