By Deorafe T. Basong
People like to say that possibility is open to anyone brave enough to want it. The line sounds warm, almost like permission—as if the world were a wide room and we only had to step inside to claim a corner.
I held onto that thought for a long time because it made the future feel generous and made me believe that desire alone could pull reality closer.
But wanting does not always lead to reaching, and some dreams ask for resources before they open their doors. The safety of a risk often bends around what we can afford to lose, and the passions we pursue must fit within the hours we can spare. For some, exploring is a season. And for others, it is a luxury.
Some people can try a new craft, move to a new city, or leave a draining job because a cushion softens their fall. Some must calculate every leap, for the consequences stay longer with them.
Still, the weight of choice is not only about finances. Even those with means can feel lost in a world that keeps multiplying expectations. We are told to be exceptional, visible, and relevant. We are told to gather skills and experiences as proof that our lives are meaningful.
Amid all the clamor, the question of what we truly want grows harder to hear. We begin to build a self that looks admirable from the outside yet feels unfamiliar within.
I have caught myself chasing lives that look good in other people’s eyes. I have mistaken applause for alignment. It is a strange fatigue to live in pursuit of versions of yourself that do not fit. You succeed at something yet feel no warmth from it. It is like wearing clothes tailored for another body.
Sometimes I wonder if the urge to be everything was never about achievement at all. Perhaps it was only ever a longing to be loved, to be enough without constant proof. Reminding us how human ambition is. More than success, we want to matter.
It is seldom said outright, but you do not have to become vast to be valuable. A focused life is no small life. There is depth in choosing a path and staying with it long enough to grow roots, and meaning in tending to what you already hold. Not every unopened door is a loss—some are simply not yours.
And if you ever feel behind because you are only becoming one true, marvelous thing, remember that worth was never waiting for your final form. It has been present in your unfinished days.
The hunger to be everything may have been a search for belonging. Yet you were always worthy of love, then and now. I hope you learn to live for your own becoming, guided by your own measure rather than the expectations of others. To recognize that your life is yours to inhabit, and that alone gives it meaning.
