By Tatiana Onofre
Follow this simple 10-day guide to ensure that your Sillimanian will be sprinting back to Katipunan Gate by day ten, if not sooner.
Day 1: Silliman ID
Ah, if a Sillimanian could choose one accessory for their outfit it would be the Silliman ID—red, white, and cherished like a medal of honor bestowed onto them.
Next time they show off their ID, snicker and blurt out, “Your ID is so… (insert derogatory adjective).” For added effect, ask why they wear it even when they have no intention of going to school. They’ll instantly clutch it to their chest, horrified you don’t see its symbolic significance and Sillimanian pride.
Day 2: Skip the Cheese Bread
Nothing can repel a Sillimanian faster than the disdain for Silliman’s sacred cheese bread. Give it just one bite and cringe, it will convince them that you’ve never experienced actual happiness.
You also have the choice to refuse to try it and declare, “I don’t like it.” Now sit and watch as the horror registers in their eyes, realizing they’ve been potentially eyeing a cheese-bread heretic.
Day 3: Butcher the Silliman Song
Next time you’re at an event and the Silliman Song begins, prepare and embrace yourself with the opportunity to annoy.
Start with the lyrics you know “Where the white sands and the corals…” and then dramatically lip-sync through the rest of the song, plus points if you actually don’t know the anthem–at that point just keep your mouth shut.
Remember, Sillimanians take in those lyrics personally.
Day 4: Refuse to go with them to Hibalag (Again, as many times as possible)
Sillimanians love Hibalag like it’s a holiday, and they will talk your ear off about the time they set up a booth.
But show zero enthusiasm. Every time they mention it, stare blankly and ask, “What’s Hibalag again?” This tactic is sure to bring their school spirit down a few notches as they painfully re-explain the magic to your cold, uncomprehending ears.
Day 5: Leave Your Bag at Guy Hall—Expect Them to Fetch It
A surefire way to lose a Sillimanian is by treating them like a campus delivery service. Leave your bag at Guy Hall, conveniently forget it, and then casually mention it when you’re almost at Luce Auditorium.
“Oh, can you grab my bag from Guy Hall?” Watch them wince as they mentally calculate the steps backward, realizing you’re not worth the trek.
Day 6: Critique Ninings
You should want to send them into a state of shock. Disdainfully push them aside every time they ask you to accompany them to Ninings.
Every Sillimanian knows that Ninings is a cornerstone of campus culinary culture. Dismissing their food is like tearing a page out of the Sillimanian.
Day 7: Laugh at them when they hit the 25 kph sign for good luck
This one’s simple but effective. Every time a Sillimanian passes by Laguna they are sure to hit the 25 kph sign. Don’t miss this chance.
Let them know how you think it’s childish and hit them with the “if you really just studied you know…”. By the third time they re-explain themselves, they’ll be wondering if you have any heart at all.
Day 8: Trash Talk the Kuya Guards
The beloved kuya guards hold a special place in the hearts of Sillimanians. Refer to one as “the OA guard who needs to stick to his role,” and complain about the salutes.
Better yet, roll your eyes at the enthusiasm with which Kuya Happy Guard at Katipunan greets everyone. The scandal of it would be insane. Sillimanians will never forgive you for dissing the guardians of their gates.
Day 9: Complain About the School Events
Sillimanians are used to school events thrown left and right. But if you want to drive them away, complain about it being unnecessary, unethical, and unenjoyable.
Loudly declare, “This was useless and no fun at all.” They’ll be ready to pack your bags for you.
Day 10: Pick a Fight with Them On Wednesdays
For the final blow, insist on meeting with them on the only day they can have a break—Wednesdays.
Be absolutely obnoxious, you may repeat the previous steps within the day to ensure they are filled up to the brim, then without a doubt they will pull the trigger.
Then comes the probability of them saying something like “Kapoy na!” I’m tired! or “I’m done.” places the final nail to the coffin of your success.
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With these steps you are most if not definitely likely to lose a Sillimanian in 10 days. If not, do not fret! You have the rest of the school year. Good luck!
