By u/KorapKontraktor
A series of poorly generated artificial intelligence (AI) marketing content filled Sillimman University’s (SU) social media pages, resulting in a drastic 55-percent drop in its enrollees for the first semester of school year 2025-2026.
For the past few weeks, SU continuously poured out AI slop such as ChatGPT-written articles, publication materials featuring figures with missing fingers, and glitching videos.
Sillimmanians and alumni quickly noticed the low-quality and nonsensical material, firing their remarks anonymously on Redit.
“I thought forda trees, forda environment, forda green ang SU. Then they begin to use AI?! I mean, what was the point in the first place? They are destroying trees y’all,” an anonymous user wrote.
In response, SU President Bettsy McCan stated that the administration plans to go “full AI slop” in the following weeks since “this is what other universities do.”
“AI has the power to serve in our education system primarily, and as a globally competitive university, we will make sure that AI is a necessity in our lives and our future,” she furthered.
McCan said that the integration of generative AI is part of SU’s goal in global competitiveness, internationalization, and digital transformation to “set SU up in the global rankings.”
She furthered that these initiatives are “carefully outlined” to align with the university’s AI policy and framework, which was fully implemented since last year.
Enrollment declines
An official report from the SU Office of Regitrawr and Recowrds Management (ORRM) revealed that last school year’s over 14,000 was down to 6,300 enrollees this year.
According to ORRM Chief Dr. Ralthon Biancaren, they implicated this decline to the university’s newly-implemented AI marketing.
“There were many interested students, who were already in the last step of the enrollment process which is the payment, but suddenly backed out when they saw the online posts,” Biancaren said.
The report showed that the Institute of Rehabilitive Sciences (IRS) and College of Engineerign and Desing (CED) suffered big decreases in their enrollees this semester.
IRS dean Dr. Paolo Manuel Shimenez said that they are set to broaden their reach by strengthening their brand through well-designed college merchandise and boosting online presence.
“As you can see karon sa among shirts and lanyards, wow kaayo ang design. So hopefully, we can get more students through these baby steps,” he said.
To aid the enrollment loss, different academic units are planning to create their own framework that could guide future marketing initiatives in their respective colleges.
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DISCLAIMER: This is part of the Weekly Sillimanian’s lampoon issue. Any real, semi-real, or similar names, places, people, products, services, and locales are used purely for satirical purposes, and the corresponding details are purely fictional. Content published during the lampoon period is to be considered satire, parody, surrealism, and humor.
