I always say that I’d write my thoughts as soon as I possibly can but I did not. It is such a waste of time to put off writing of any form to another day because the thought would be gone like a bubble.
I’m not really proud to say that no matter how much I want to accomplish important tasks at hand or how much I tell myself that I really need to change my ways, I always end up putting it off then regretting that I’ve let the moment pass by and got nothing to write or record. I feel bad every time because of my lack of motivation. Every time it happens, I can feel the disappointment seeping in. Thus, the cycle goes on and on and it wastes my energy.
In addition to this, I’d like to include the fact that for years, I’ve been battling with myself for my lack of motivation. It’s a shame to admit even to myself that I can barely keep up with my goals. My personal feeling regarding the issue at hand is that, it’s like me, struggling very hard to swim in a vast torrent of waves with my body grounded under water with only my head stuck out and my arms flapping wildly.
In that state, I can barely swim against the ebbs and tides of the waves. Might as well for the ocean existing in my head to swallow me but it did not. I’d say that the only thing that’s been holding me up the surface to still breathe so I don’t fully drown is a tiny dint of hope that springs within me. The feeling is like no matter what the perils ahead, I will thrive and am not giving up without putting up a fight. So, I guess that’s some thought. I will not give up without putting up a fight. The thought sort of gave me a glimmer hope for myself and hope for my future that is still looming ahead. It reminds me that I still have time than I care to admit.
